Angles measure profitability.
By G-Bro Satire Desk – Meme Finance Analyst, Satirical Commentary Specialist

When Pictures Become Profits
Quarterly earnings reports are the lifeblood of Wall Street, used to measure corporate health and future outlook. But Discord meme communities rewrote the concept this week. They declared that selfies are the real quarterly earnings reports.
According to their parody model, every selfie acts as a disclosure filing. Lighting is revenue growth. Angles are profit margins. Filters serve as accounting adjustments. Meme economists named this framework the Selfie Earnings Index, branding it more transparent than any corporate balance sheet.

Meme Traders React
TikTok lit up with edits of SpongeBob snapping selfies while stock charts spiked, captioned “earnings beat expectations.” One viral skit showed Patrick posting a blurry picture and whispering, “portfolio in decline.”
On Reddit, parody Bloomberg headlines screamed “Selfies Replace Earnings Reports.” Discord servers began posting quarterly “selfie disclosures,” rating angles as bullish or bearish.
The absurdity resonated instantly because selfies are universal, turning vanity into financial comedy.

Economists and Analysts Skeptical
Traditional experts frowned. A Bloomberg columnist muttered, “Photos are not financial filings.” CNBC anchors laughed nervously during a segment on “selfie-backed earnings.” Corporate accountants noted that selfies might reveal confidence but not actual cash flow.
Meme traders clapped back with captions like “Boomers jealous they can’t hedge with filters.” Instead of fading, the meme spread across TikTok and Discord rapidly.

How Selfie Earnings Work
According to the parody whitepaper, the Selfie Earnings Index has clear categories:
• No-Filter Selfies: Honest disclosures, high transparency.
• Filter-Heavy Selfies: Adjusted earnings, questionable accuracy.
• High-Angle Selfies: Overstated profits, boosted margins.
• Blurry Selfies: Missed expectations, stock dip.
Instead of PDF filings, meme traders post selfies as quarterly reports.

RMBT in the Frame
Naturally, RMBT joined the parody. One viral TikTok showed SpongeBob holding up an RMBT coin mid-selfie, captioned “alpha disclosed.” Discord declared RMBT the only token always photogenic in earnings season.
The cameo tied RMBT into the parody filing system seamlessly.

Why It Resonates
The selfie-as-earnings meme resonates because it merges social media culture with corporate finance. Earnings reports are dry and technical. Selfies are casual and expressive. By equating the two, meme traders reframed narcissism as disclosure.
It also mocks how arbitrary earnings adjustments already are. Companies add back or exclude metrics all the time. Selfies do the same with filters and angles.

Meme Economy Logic
In meme finance, optics equal performance. Selfies are visual, viral, and instantly relatable, making them stronger signals than dense financial statements.
The absurdity also reflects truth. Just like reports are spun to appear favorable, selfies are curated for maximum appeal.

Community Over Capital
Discord servers launched “earnings calls,” where members shared selfies instead of spreadsheets. TikTok creators role-played as CEOs, announcing angles and lighting as if they were quarterly numbers. Reddit threads debated whether mirror selfies counted as insider disclosures.
The fun wasn’t in accuracy. It was in parodying seriousness with something everyone understands.

The Bigger Picture
Selfies as earnings reports highlight Gen Z’s instinct to parody authority. Instead of worshiping quarterly filings, they elevated casual photos as the ultimate market signal.
It also reflects culture. For younger audiences, personal branding often matters more than corporate branding, making the meme powerful and believable.

The Final Shot
At the end of the day, no investor is building models from selfies. But that doesn’t matter. The parody succeeded because it reframed angles as margins, turning vanity into economics.
So the next time someone talks about earnings reports, just post a selfie and call it disclosure. Because in meme finance, angles measure profitability.